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For GP: How to Practice Military Medicine without a License

in Military Stories and Humor in Uniform Sat Dec 25, 2010 11:55 pm
by LLE | 101 Posts

When I approached graduation from college, I applied for graduate work toward a Master's Degree in Psychology. I got accepted to several schools, but decided that a warm, snow and ice-free climate would be a lot more comfortable, so I went to the school of the Hurricanes---Miami[FL]. There were no National Guard units that interested me in the Miami area, so I transferred to the Army Reserve [temporarily inactive], and right after starting school, heard of a new Army Reserve General Hospital unit, that was recruiting, so I got an appointment to see the Hospital Director [a full Col and MD]. He was a neat guy with a great sense of humor--much more of a "Doc" than a Colonel. He interviewed me about my military experience, and my education, and was really interested in my graduate work. I asked if a General Hospital unit was big enough to have a Psych Department and he said, "Certainly, but the problem is we have no Department Head, no Psychiatrists, no Psychologists, no Nurses and no support EM's. I think you ought to join us and be the first staff member in that Department". I asked him what my duty MOS job title would be, and he said, "Chief Clinical Psychology Specialist-- it's a Master Sgt level position, but since it is not a combat job, the Army just instituted this chain called "Specialists". You would be supervising and training all of the lower rank specialists in that department, and be directed by the Department Head or acting Dept. Head, if we ever recruit a Psychiatrist". In the meantime, you would report to me." I told him that sounded good, and he welcomed me to the outfit. Then he gave me the class schedule for the MD's, and pointed out an up-coming class slot for the Psych Dept., saying, "you will need to prepare a two hour lecture for the Docs: you pick the subject. In the meantime, during drill nights, you will be taking these classes with all of my MD's. You will be learning a lot about the other medical specialty areas, and maybe find after getting your Masters, you might even want to go to Med school". I thanked him, and told him that it was a little overwhelming for me, an NCO, to be lecturing MD's. He laughed and said, "don't worry about a thing--most of them never completed a course in Psych past the usual introductory class."
When I look back on this experience, even though the hospital unit was very large, the Docs and Nurses [who outnumbered the EM at that time] were the funiest and craziest-a$$ed people I ever worked with. There was laughter and joking, there was a$$-pinching and innuendo, and everyone had a good time. When it came time to up-date shot records, all of the EM calmly got in line and took their injections without comment. But when it came time for the MD's and Nurses, there was weeping and wailing and screaming and protests---but of course, that was all for the entertainment of the EM.
It came to pass that the Colonel got a request from the Miami Joint Military Recruiting center, downtown, that a batch of new enlistees needed to have their induction physical exams completed the last weekend of that month. The Col. made the announcement to set-up the clinic building at the Miami International Airport, Air Force Station, and everyone knew what to do except me! He saw that I was confused and concerned and motioned me to his office. He said, "don't be concerned--you have time to prepare." I said, "Sir, may I ask--prepare for what?" He said, "why --for the psychiatric exams, of course." I said, "Sir, that sounds like you want ME to do the psych exams, and I am not an MD/Psychiatrist". He said, "don't worry about a thing--I am your supervisor and I will certify your results. You need to draw a plain khacki shirt and a white MD's lab coat from supply. Do not wear your enlisted brass and do not sew on any chevrons, or wear anything that would indicate you are an EM. I will give you the general specs for the induction psych exam, and you will make up your questions from the specs. It probably would be a good idea to consult with your senior professor of Clinical Psych over at the University. He was a WW II Army Psychologist, and I'm sure he will help you. You might even get extra credit, if you write-up this experience"!
Of course, I got help and got through it OK, but I always had the nagging feeling that I had passed some maniacs on to active duty. After that, the big joke at the U. of Miami Psychology Department was "we have a famous criminal among us--he practices medicine without a license!!" And the big joke at the General Hospital unit was addressing me as "Doctor"--our new Psychiatrist.

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RE: For GP: How to Practice Military Medicine without a License

in Military Stories and Humor in Uniform Sun Dec 26, 2010 12:12 pm
by samD | 534 Posts

LOL. Well if It walks like a duck and quacks like a duck it is probably LLE! Quack being the operative word here.

لن أستسلم لموتُ لالاس "I will not submit.Death to Islam!"

The Socialists told us long ago that since they could not beat us with force, that they would destroy us slowly from within. So far it is working pretty well. MOLON LABE

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RE: For GP: How to Practice Military Medicine without a License

in Military Stories and Humor in Uniform Sun Dec 26, 2010 2:21 pm
by HampsterW | 461 Posts

Nice play...LOL

Change that you can truly believe in comes from the barrel of a gun!..........Greg AZ........Check! Check! Check!

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RE: For GP: How to Practice Military Medicine without a License

in Military Stories and Humor in Uniform Sun Dec 26, 2010 6:19 pm
by LLE | 101 Posts

Quack Quack Quack, and some AAFFLLAAC, too.

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RE: For GP: How to Practice Military Medicine without a License

in Military Stories and Humor in Uniform Sun Dec 26, 2010 7:21 pm
by Greasy Paws | 111 Posts

so your really not a doc...LOL

"My ardent desire is, and my aim has been ... to comply strictly with all our engagements foreign and domestic; but to keep the United States free from political connections with every other country. To see that they may be independent of all, and under the influence of none. In a word, I want an American character, that the powers of Europe may be convinced we act for ourselves and not for others; this, in my judgment, is the only way to be respected abroad and happy at home." --George Washington, letter to Partick Henry, 1775

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RE: For GP: How to Practice Military Medicine without a License

in Military Stories and Humor in Uniform Mon Dec 27, 2010 9:05 am
by LLE | 101 Posts

No--never went to med school. I doubt I would have made it through the first year. I had a lot of trouble even dissecting a frog in Biology class!! But in the military, sometimes [especially in combat] Medical Service Corps troops had to suck it up and do things way above their pay grade, just to save lives. For example, during the invasion [WW II] of Okinawa my uncle, who was a Chief Hospital Corpsman, saved the life of a Marine Corps General by performing surgery on him, while under direct enemy fire on the battlefield. When they asked my uncle how he knew what to do, he said that he had observed all different kinds of general surgery in his younger days, as a guest of a surgeon friend of the family. When they asked him how he had nerve enough to do it, he said that was easy---if he did not try it, that General was going to die. When they asked him how difficult it was, under enemy fire, he said, "what enemy fire?--I was concentrating on trying not to kill that General." The Marine Corps awarded my uncle the Navy Cross for that action, and the General ordered a battlefield commission for him, as well. Now, that's what you call {really} practicing medicine, without a license!

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